I am in the Matrix?

I regret watching the Matrix now because now everything I say is null and void. I told Jaz an hour ago that I am hungry with hopes that he would take it as a hint that we should go to the fucking shops and get groceries already. But no, he said... 


'Your real body is actually in a mucous-filled pod and machines are feeding off your life force.'


So therefore, this hunger is not real. Nothing is real.

Well then... That lump of dirty laundry is not real as well. Neither is the pile of dirty dishes.

So tonight, we won't need to cuddle. Because cuddling is not really real when your real body is in a mucous-filled pod.

I say cuddle but what I mean is fuck, really.

Bless your fragile minds.

Oh damn. I'm using the vagina as a bargaining tool now. Damn it. Tsk. I need to work on my speech. One that does not involve the Secret Bits be used as part of a barter trade.

If you don't buy me that bag, I won't let you have My Secret.

Well, Alice. You're fucked now.