IMVU is dangerous for you.

Holy motherfucker. Just when I'm about to write something I need to shit.

So anyway yes... I miss Jarrod. But I digress, yes.

My mom just rolled over in bed and her head is currently on my arse.

Motherfucker, yes. As I was saying. I was just currently on IMVU humouring myself as most bored people are wont to do. I have this absolutely hideous get-up on that made me look like some aboriginal straight out of fucking Jumanji.

And then I got an invite from a guy whose display picture is that of a man sucking on an equally naked woman's breast and I'm thinking 'Motherfucker NO! I cannot take another bloody old bastard who've hit mid-life twice asking me if I want to be his master!' I have not and I can safely say, never will be a goddamned Dominatrix, chain-whipping woman in bed. I vaguely remember this guy who asked me to shit on his face, of all places and I was asking him, exactly how am I supposed to shit on his face when he is in bloody Saudi and I'm here? For fuck's sake. What, does he want me to can my shit and ship it over to him, or something? Whatever happened to the joy of sniffing undies for kicks?! Now you're on to me shitting on your face? Men, you have evolved in the most weirdest of ways.

So then, back to breast-sucking man. I thought, oh well. Let's make this a practical joke on the horny man with me turning up on his chat client looking like a primate.

But no. It was an interview for strippers and pole and lap dancers. Right there in fucking IMVU. How much have I missed in my fucking hiatus?! What is going on here? They are hiring dancers and paying them in credits on IMVU? And it's a room full of good-looking pixels while I am the fucking ape?! And how come no one informed me of a fucking interview? You can't fuck around with the heart of the jobless like this, maaaaaaaaan! It's wrong! And I was just telling my mother I'm considering becoming a stripper! This is all wrong! I want to be a real-life stripper! Not one on IMVU!

But this is all too weird to be hilarious.

There is no moral of the story for this post. Except that... In my boredom, I went and sold my gorgeous pink-haired pixel to be a stripper. Just because I'm bored and this will humour me for a few days.