One of the notes from my FaceBook notes section and I still think it's hilarious.

-WHEN I GET MARRIED-

* I will skip the invitation cards and just send notifications via facebook. It's is part of my 'Save the Earth Movement'. And also because I am cheap like that. But nevermind me being a cheapo. Just think of me as the Environmentalist Extraordinaire.

* I will skip expensive cutleries and delicate China plates. You will get your take-outs in styrofoam boxes. Contradicts the last phrase, what with the emission of Chloroflurocarbon and all, but Oxymoron turns me on. That is, if I decide to feed my guests or not. Who cares about the food, right? You're all present to witness the holy matrimony of me and my future partner in crime. I mean, husband. And you're also not there for the free booze, right? That is why we are all drinking tap water. I have that tap filter thingy, mind you.

* I will wear a red victorian ballgown with a plunging neckline and a ten-foot-long black lace train. Because I am a big fan of extravagance in the weirdest of situations. And you will all go ooh and ahh when you sip your tap water and clang your plastic forks on your styrofoam boxes. Oh and about the plunging neckline and the heaving bosom? I just love the thought of giving my future husband cold sweat at the thought of all the guests ogling his future wife's mammaries. Purely superficial. And not to mention entertaining on my part. Also it increases the risk of dirty rampant sex after the whole tiresome ordeal we call 'The Wedding'. Did I just type that out aloud?

* I will be riding off into the sunset, hopefully to get blissfully laid, in a small cute and oh-so-compact Volkswagen Beetle because I know it'll be a pain in the arse to shove that bloody ten-foot-train into the stupid car. It will be absolutely hilarious, I promise you. But then, bear in mind that I am easily amused. On the bumper there will be a sticker that says "Like, we are soooo married it's like, OMG!"

* I TOTALLEH blame Jetstar stewardesses for that bumper sticker. Okay in all fairness, not ALL of them. Just one in particular. She makes my pubic hair twitch with irritation. Like, OMG! IT'S LIKE... YOU KNOW!? I honestly thought that that phrase came from the US and therefore only being utilized by teenage drama queens. But like, whatevarh. Cross-breeding happens. And I lyk SO stand corrected!

* Oh and wedding photos will be taken MySpace pose style. The kinds where you look up at the cam and pout and act sexy. The "missing cigar pose" is strongly encouraged. Because it gives me the giggles. OOH! I'm thinking polaroids!

* Ooooooh oooh oooh! DISCO BALLS! Because it gives mom a strange 'blast into the past'! See, I DO think about other people's happiness!

* I have yet to think about gift tokens for the wedding. But then I think we shall skip it all because REALLY you guys are all at the wedding to share the wonderful moment with me, right?

* Oh and it's okay about the wedding "donations" or red packets to fund for my honeymoon trip around Europe with me and future husband. I doubt I will be able to walk for the next three weeks at least. Nawh, it's not wishful thinking. It's just merely faith in the superkapowablity of my spouse. And also because of the fact that I cramp easily. Choked arteries and capillaries and all.

Isn't it absolutely wonderful that I just wasted all of your time because I was horrendously bored and was trying to show off that even in absolute boredom I am STILL a literary genius?

Good night, my fans.