ANUS.

So fucking angry at this world, so fucking pissed off with Jaz, so damn bloody irate I just told TC and Coco to get off my fucking bed and go out in the fucking garden and then I felt bad and called them back in and gave them fucking cuddles. So fucking spewing with so much vile hate that I just sent Jaz a disgusting text that I will probably hate myself in an hour's time but right now I feel that the message does not justify my anger because I want to fucking chuck plates against the wall, run to the neighbours' and chuck their plates on their fucking walls, yell at their pets to get off their fucking beds and unleash my Furies in their living rooms. I want to scream until my throat rips and bleeds and drown me in my own blood, leaving me to gurgle and choke in the corner. If it does not work, I would like to run a warm bath, apply waterproof make-up, put some wax in my hair and style it and just fucking slash my wrists and wait to be found by whothefuckever. Be it Josh, his brother, Oli or fucking Jaz. I don't care. I do not give a stinking shit. I am so fucking angry I would like to top myself off and nuisance every fucking one while I am at it. I am so fucking angry at the pile of crusty, crummy dishes with fag butts in the cups and what looks like fucking spit. I am fucking angry at the toilet seat that is graffitied with piss and crusted with pubic hair of three different colours.

I want to jog on this cold night and catch up with other joggers just to cuss at them for even bothering to jog at this night just to prove a fucking point that they give a shit about their physique and blame the rise of children with eating disorders on them. I want to sprint to TESCO 24 hours at this time of the night and sit in the frozen aisle and just scream FUCK YOU AND CHOICE OF FOOD. FROZEN?! WHAT, ARE YOU SO FUCKING BUSY WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE YOU CAN'T FUCKING BUY PROPER FOOD?! I want to run up to pregnant women, catch my breath and just stroke their belly and give them hugs and go on my mad rampage.

I want to run up outside the church and SCREAM FUCK YOOOOOOOOOU and then run back. I just want to scream. I just want to hurl.

I want to go to the pages of people on Facebook who type out in their statuses 'F@$K THAT SH%T' and say WE FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU TRYING TO SAY THERE ANYWAY, YOU TWAT. What, like I am supposed to read that as Eff-At-Dollar Sign-Kay That Ess-Hech-Percentage-Tee? Fucking WHAT!? What?! You are a fucking twat, that is what. If you want to cuss, just FUCKING CUSS. Please.

What, what, WHAT have I done in my fucking past life to deserve this shit?! WHAT. Was I the fucking doctor that suggested to Hitler that maybe he should try bleaching babies to see if it'll make them blonde with blue eyes? Was that me? Was that my fucking fault.

Fuck you fucking men who don't fucking know when to call the woman to say what fucking time you are coming home and expect us to fucking wait, with a FUCKING smile when you get back and ask something so brain-dead like 'Oh, did you have a good time then?' like we have nothing better to do and when we unleash the dragon you say some fucking supposedly-hilarious like 'But you're not allowed to hate me.' WHAT AM I ALLOWED TO DO THEN, MY FUCKING LOVE. Am I allowed to run a hot bath now and slash my wrists while I am in there? WHAT.

Fuck you, Spellcheck, you can go to hell right now as well. I would like to take all that squiggly red lines that you underline my words with and fucking stab you slowly to death with it.