I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I can't come to the studio to help you paint tonight, boys. My nails, as I have pointed to you, are fucked to bits. My cuticles are ragged and there is a weird scummy mixture of white, blue and black emulsion paint under my nails. It simply will not do.

When I tried to show my hands to Jaz, he just made this mock-whine that sounded like a weird cross between an ovulating Husky bitch and a paper shredder. He then showed me the state of HIS hands which made me reel back in horror. Iwillnotturnintomymother. Iwillnotturnintomymother. Iwillnotturnintomymother. He also pointed out to me the state of the blister on his forefinger that had ripped apart from him ripping the old carpets off and it was red and raw. I am tired all this up-onemanship business. Listen to me whine. I won't even bother about complaining to Josh because then the both of them will gang up on me and Josh being Josh, he'd even dig up some old story about that one time his brother hit him and he fell off the swing when they were kids. Something that had no fucking relevance whatsoever to the crisis at hand. MY fucking soapbox. Get off it from Exit B, please.

Therefore, I shall sit here tonight, click my life away on my Sims Social and paint my nails a nice shade of Nude at the same time because us women are multi-taskers that way. We, or at least I, may not be made to withstand the harshest of elements but we sure as hell do a few things at once.

Not that they gave a shit, my not being there, of course. They just gathered their things at 1800 hours just now and set off for their Big Painting And Carpeting Extravaganza where this woman would not be wandering from out of the rooms covered in paint at 2200 hours yelling SOMEBODY FUCKING FEED ME BEFORE I DIE and then later at 0400 hours: ARE WE GOING TO MCDONALD'S FOR BREKKIE? Jaz himself just buggered off with a kiss and said Be Good. No, I will be extremely naughty and paint my nails black just to show you how tortured my soul is and how bleak my future looked to me when I looked into the evening horizon with you not by my side to console me.